You make some good points, but I find it curious that you would interject a tone of hostility by slamming everyone who participated in this discussion. Did you actually read all the posts? If you did, you wouldn’t be so quick to condemn “all” of us for “righteous indignation.” If you actually read my two prior comments, you would notice that my point was that professionalism is a two way street, and perhaps the lack of follow up was in part attributed to the lack of courtesy follow through with the candidates they interview, and possibly the lack of examples to show these students how the job search process works.

A gentle suggestion of my own: As Anne said, PR professionals have long memories. If you plan to unfairly attack people, don’t post any identifying information in those posts, or you won’t have to worry about hiring Anne’s firm or any others – it will never get that far.

I tend to agree with Matt on the subject. To dismiss a person from being a job candidate based on such a silly thing as a thank you email is absurd. This person has spent years in college building up the skills that might benefit your company specifically. I find it shocking how easily you dismiss all those years of studying over a simple email!! This is exactly what I’ve found to be PR’s biggest problem. They can’t see past the “suit and tie”.

From my experience in the workforce, which is center of production that keeps companies going, those employees who constantly pamper PR’s and managers (egos) are the least productive and least helpful for the company at large. Those who are confidence in their abilities to improve the company’s standing do not resort to flattery and ego building. They find it difficult to get through the interviews done by PR and HR personnel, but once in the door, they prove to be some of the best resources around. I’d almost describe it as HR’s wall against good employees.

I don’t feel that Matt has dismissed the fact that common courteous isn’t needed for co-operation. He has merely brought to light the fact that dismissing someone as a job candidate based solely on a missing “thank you” email is absurd!

Hi Anne,

Thank you for responding.

I’ve been in the business world for 25+ years, all inside of large corporate enterprises from manufacturing leadership to corporate executive roles. Over the course of that time I’ve seen many candidates as a “hiring manager” and in support of others looking to fill positions.

Without a doubt, I agree with you about the disturbing trend towards more of what I would call self-centeredness. Certainly I don’t want to go into the all the potential root-causes for this trend, but want to simply express agreement with your observation.

Two of the things I’ve learned over the years are:

1) That one can never be sure of the circumstance under which another person lives and works. Because of this, it’s always dangerous to make assumptions about the badness or cluelessness of another person.

2) Expectations of gratitude inevitably lead to disappointment to varying degrees. When we help someone without expectation of return thanks, it’s the purest form of giving. That being said, sometimes we just don’t have the time to give them the help for which they are asking, and we need to tell them such. But not because they didn’t thank us properly.

You run a successful public relations (communications) firm in the Philadelphia area. Perhaps you can seed your business growth by giving of your time to local universities to share your thoughts and experiences about job seeking candidates and how to be successful?

Certainly I also agree with you that some people (young and older) would heed the feedback while others dismiss it out of their self-centered orientation. All we can do is try to help without the expectations for the fruits of our labor.

Thanks again, Anne, for your thoughtful reply. I’m glad you made contact.

Best Regards,

Matt

Matt —

I hope you will share a little more about where you are in your life and career. I ask because most of the comments so far seem to have come from those of us who have been in the business for some time now and are in a position to make hiring decisions. Are you just starting out? Or are you a hiring manager yourself? I would be curious to know.

If you read all of the comments (including my responses), you’ll note that I said I struggled with whether or not to post this and that my “way of doing things” is generally collaborative and compassionate. I truly wish I had the time to personally help every young person who came to me for advice, but the reality is that I run a small business and need to be most mindful of my clients and my staff. If I wanted to coach young people, I would become a professional coach.

This post, whose emotion you characterize as “righteous indignation,” was more about expressing frustration at how so many young job-seekers are shooting themselves in the foot by not following up or expressing thanks for a favor done on their behalf. I’m sorry, but I don’t buy your theory that our emails got lost in the young lady’s spam filter; if that had occurred, she would have made another inquiry, possibly via her aunt. The fact that she contacted us a second time, with no reference to the first encounter, is equally fishy and demonstrates more poor manners.

In one of my earlier responses, I recounted a story where I tried mightily to give some kind advice to another student (also referred by a friend) whose cover letter contained five typo’s. I pointed out to her — gently — that had her letter not come in via a referral, it would have gone straight into the waste basket. I urged her to check her spelling and grammar before she sent out a cover letter. For my efforts, I was rewarded with a blistering email that informed me that, “My father says you are wrong!”

I think there are some young people who would respond to kindly delivered feedback, and I thank you for reminding me of that possibility. Butm in my experience, there are others, sadly, for whom such advice would fall on deaf ears.

This blog post seemed to me the most efficient way to communicate a disturbing trend I (and apparently, quite a few others) are seeing in the job field. It pains me that this economy has locked so many good, young people out of the game. But what hurts even more is to see that they remove themselves from consideration by not expressing a simple “thank you” when many of us are trying our best to extend a helping hand.

Thanks for taking the time to write.

Anne

Matthew,

Couldn’t agree more on the “reaching out” idea.

Well said.

Matt

In this age of digitally instant and viral communication, please be prompt in your response, no matter what that response may be.

Thanks,

Matt

1) In your righteous indignation you’ve overlooked the possibility that the niece’s email system sent your emails to her spam folder. I mean come on, who hasn’t had this happen?

2) Not all young people have been raised with the evidently gracious social skills and confidence which you now have. Perhaps reaching out to inquire about whether she received your emails and what her thoughts are on the advice given would help both of you. First it would prove whether item (1) above has occurred. Secondly it might just give a young person the needed boost in confidence to continue a conversation in which she might feel that she’s interrupting your busy business lives.

If neither of these are the case, then at least have the compassion to help her with her assignment, but also let her know how important it is to acknowledge the help of others. For all you know, your advice to her on that topic alone may change her life in a tremendously positive way.

If you cannot bring yourselves to do that, I understand. Life is hard. Business is business. And you have either lost your compassion or have yet to discover your hearts.

Ultimately the proper question for me to now consider…

“Why would I ever use your PR firm?”

Matt

PS: Will you respond to my comment? And remember, you’re a professional with years of PR experience behind you, not a young college student wondering what should be done.

Marybeth —

I LOVE this story and thank you for sharing it!

Two summers ago, we interviewed a young lady by telephone for a summer internship. She wasn’t going to be in our area until the summer, so all of the decision-making and interviewing was done by phone and email. On paper, she looked wonderful — high GPA, worked to support herself through college (one of my hot “like” buttons!), very strong values. On the phone, she was very quiet and reserved. AND she made a point of telling one of our senior people that she was shy and was working on getting more comfortable with “putting herself out there.”

In some respects, she didn’t fit the extroverted profile we often associate with PR people. But we had a really strong feeling about her. We made her an offer. She came and spent a wonderful summer with us. She was a fine, fine writer and contributed strongly.

A few months ago, I got a handwritten note from her, thanking us for taking a chance on her, telling us how much we had taught her and letting us know she had a terrific job with a non-profit.

I can’t tell you how happy that made me.

I second your comment that expressing gratitude (especially in a creative way!) demonstrates something “extra.” Those who go out of the way to be gracious and grateful during the interviewing process are often signaling what strong employees they will make when hired.

Anne

When we interview someone for a position or an internship, practically every person in our department puts in their two cents about what they think about the candidate regardless of if they participated in the interview or not. It is far too common that a co-worker and I will greet an interviewee in our lobby and will leave shaking our heads at their rudeness or in some cases, stupidity (hello, do not text while two of your potential co-workers are trying to introduce themselves!).

Anyways, on a brighter note, we interviewed someone for an internship position around the holiday season. She was qualified, professional, but seemed a little shy so we kept interviewing other candidates until we found “the one.” Three days after her interview, we received a small box with some holiday goodies and a thank you note attached. Needless to say, she went above and beyond a simple thank you note, but it got our attention and we called her to say thank you for the goodies and offered her the internship. She has continually blown us away by her little “extras” ever since.